Dooooood. *Groan* I’ve got snoticles in my chest. *cough cough* I sound like a three pack a day-er.
I haven’t been sick since March. Kids go back to school and the world becomes a germ filled petri dish. And people laugh when I wipe down shopping cart handles. Have you ever grabbed one and found the handle was greasy? Wasn’t there a study that said shopping cart handles were germier than toilet seats? Just typing that made my stomach churn. Thanks but no thanks. I’ll be the lady who wipes down handles, her keys, her phone, her purse handles after touching the outside world. #paranoid
Seasoned performers are giving me advice on how to just get through a show when sick. I’ve performed while sick in my time. Stage, radio, TV. I’ve never DANCED when sick.How do you do that when your lungs are filled with snoticles? Tonight I have not one, but two high energy performances that include light saber twirling/deep throating. What the hell do you do on stage, Charlotte? I go balls out nuts is what I do. The best is yet to come.
An opportunity has presented itself for me to help produce a new type of burlesque show in St. Louis. Details still under wraps until I get everything booked. Let’s just say we will push the envelope as far as St. Louis eyes have seen. Sexy sexy sexaaaaay. And still legal. Gotta put that disclaimer in because you would not believe the peepers that read this blog. I’m not kidding that I’ve become the Gossip Girl of the St.Louis sexy scene. Not only for locals, but I’ve still got some Hollywood eyes peeking in from time to time. Strike now, darlings. It may be winter, but this city and the goings on are burning hot. You wouldn’t believe what happens behind the scenes. If only I could tell you everything I know, but I don’t want to wake up with a horse head in my bed. MAFIA MUCH?
As far as MY dirt, there’s not much to tell at the mo. Rabbit (former IT BOY) and I still hang out. I still care for him a great deal and he for me but we know now isn’t the right time to do more than just hang out and have some laughs and a little sexytime here and there. His band Ou Ou has taken off and he’s booked for a ton of shows. He’s also moving, so we see each other when we see each other. Still doing the don’t ask, don’t tell, use a condom for fuck’s sake policy when it comes to other lovers. No casual oral without condoms cuz HPV causes throat Cancer, have you heard? Think before you sucknfuck.
Siren, drag performer extraordinaire,was recently on stage talking about how she’s baffled by the straight girls she works with. She’s used to the gay community, who knows condoms condoms condoms. She constantly hears the ladies she works with saying, “Condoms. Why? I’m on the pill. I haaaate condoms. Whine whine.”
Bitching about condoms is SO early 90s and we’re talking the couture grunge flannel in Vogue early 90s. Not a good time for fashion. Not a good time for STDs. Now is also a shitsky time for STDs/STIs with the reports that one in ever four people have a one of the 100s of strains of HPV that exists. I say it ovah and ovah in the hopes that at least one of you cock whores purchases some flavored condoms and uses them for casual oral. HPV is now causing head and neck Cancer, which is a BITCH to recover from. Cancer isn’t sexy. THink about that the next time you put a hookup’s cock in your mouth. Or yours in theirs. Or any other part of the body. CONDOMS mutha fuckas!!
Alright. I’ve done my part. I’ve given my warning. Your body. Your health. Your choice. Just choose wisely, ok? You’re not stupid. Stop it. Stop it stop it stop it.Condoms break but at least you tried. If GAWD FORBID you go to the doc and get diagnosed with an HPV related Cancer, at least you know you tried. You did all you could. VS hearing the news and going, “Wow, should have been more careful, huh.”
I have to go sew some Star Trek pasties now. Until we speak again, wrap those presents before you open them, ok?
Tags: advice Author Name: Charlotte
