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“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint – it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly… time-y wimey… stuff.” — The Doctor Not just as poly people, but just as humans, our most precious resource is time. When we have multiple people we love deeply and want to spend time with, managing that resource becomes critically important. As poly vixen Shira B Katz likes to say, the poly mating call is, “Get out your calendars!” I, and several of my partners, use Google Calendar. We can view each [...]
Arianne Cohen has been in an open relationship for three years, so in this story she wrote for Britain’s The Guardian, she begins with the tale of her relationship. But she also profiles several other poly configurations.
Cohen lets the folks speak for themselves, so the article is chock full of quotes from people in various types of open relationships, as they discuss the logistics of their relationships and how being open works for them.
Cohen muses:
‘ve been super busy recently, with a lot of personal stuff (like my daughter’s sprained ankle… the 4th in 3 years…), and the recent Poly Pool Party. Writing has been a struggle. One of the things that keeps me going, though, are the words of my mentor Samantha Bennett of
Yes, yes, it's well known that I'm a service submissive. I hate to say no, I love to please, and I enjoy giving the control to my partner both in bed and out of it. However, that doesn't mean that you can simply walk up, say hello, and pin my hands behind my back! I don't know you – we just met! Before I'm a sub, I'm a grown woman, and I need to be Wooed before I can be Taken.You couldn't help yourself, you say? Well, that's about the perfect approach to make me end this quickly, and here's why...
A student joined his master in the garden.The student asked his master, “Is abundance freedom?”There was a brief moment of silence, then the master bent over, picked up a rock, and handed it to the student.The student accepted it and looked at the rock.The master nodded.And the student looked back at the rock.
I’ve not written in here for a while, and I feel like I left it on a low note – so apologies to any readers for that. I considered taking this blog down at one point, I’m worried it isn’t how I feel about things anymore – but I’m yet to go and read over, so I think that might just be what happens when you leave a creative endeavour to simmer for a period of time.
I wanted to write a full post about this.
About the supposed Mommy Wars.
About how completely I do not buy into this adversarial narrative that is constantly shoved down my throat.
About how most attachment parents I know are not competitive or sanctimonious at all and how we’re all parents and should focus on sharing and supporting each other.
About how shifting the focus onto mommy vs. mommy is simply a distraction from the fact that motherhood is still a liability in western culture because patriarchy.
I am occasionally disturbed by the plethora of polyamory advice out there. No, not because I think I need to be the only advice columnist (hardly!) but because I sometimes wonder how people evaluate the value of said advice. I’m sorry to say I probably have readers, myself, who would likely not consider my own advice as valuable if they had done their research. And you know what? If that’s so, they shouldn’t be reading this!
What should you ask to evaluate whether or not to take someone’s polyamorous advice?
How long have they been poly?
I added this to my Netflix queue because it was either on a poly list or Netflix recommended it to me when I added some other movie that was on a poly list. I can't remember.
I often feel like people who live fairly normative romantic lives place their social relationships into discrete categories: George is my friend, Sally is my wife, Fred is my brother, etc. I believe that people in non-standard romantic situations, be they open, swingers, poly, or other – and the people who spend lots of time around us – use more of a spectrum of affection to describe relationships. For instance, which standard relationship box would a swinger use to contain a frequent sexual partner, with whom s/he has developed affection, but with whom s/he is not in love?
Interesting read in today's Philadelphia Inquirer...(Read more ...)
Have you registered for OpenSF yet? The OpenSF Conference will be held at the Holiday Inn Golden Gateway in San Francisco, June 8-10, and I’m keynoting! A description of the conference: